I wouldn't get that close

Not a euphemism, my missile is BROKEN!

For Pete's sake, just go eat bacon!

What if it's a SPANISH-speaking shark?

Regards, your neighborhood watch

They said those hours playing Tetris wouldn't pay off

Great fun, until she met that one bug...

Stairways to heaven are overrated

Windows humor

Nothing to see here, keep on walking

Why we don't drive thru potholes in NOLA

Partying on Saturday and Sunday can leave you weakened...

A polite suggestion

What could go wrong?

You will be fined and towed

But I want that triangular look!

It *does* make me think of coffee beans

This joke writes itself

Just as I suspected, Pokemon Go is trying to kill you.

How zesty!

Closer... closer... Whoa! Way too close!

Lessons learned

They never learn

Catching stray fish...

Not literally!

So the plant helps you stop?

Press # for more options

You can't say you weren't warned

Except, you know, this