Run, quickly, down the stairs!

Why you get lost in your dreams

You know, this is just encouraging "accidents!"

Today, I'm thankful I'm not eating this

Forget the Turducken... Behold, the Cthurkey! ...with bacon.

Star light, star bright, the first frog I see tonight

Choose wisely...

Try to contain yourself

...and butter is "beaten bovine excretions!"

Rock on, dude!

No, no, don't help. Just get the camera.

Would this work for me?

Another example of the equation: Yucky thing + top hat = aDORable!

"Watcha doin'?" "Oh, just hangin' around."

Click here to see the Rainbow Warriors in action. Or inaction... whatever. Peace out!

Because writing isn't hard enough

I want to live where he lives

Snowmen can be flaky. Or have meltdowns...

The things we do to get what we want

Hard to be anything but blue

Vive la France!

You just have to close your eyes

Don't look, just eat. Buwahahaha!

The difference between the beetle and the roach

One gets worshiped as a deity by an ancient yet enlightened culture, and their image is made into furniture. The other is exterminated! 

Life is unfair...

Ophidiophobic? This will cure you.

Everything is less threatening in a top hat.

Proof. Parenthood doesn't have to be boring.

Of course, my brood is in the hundreds, so this is a bit impractical for me. 

Ladders? Overrated.

Tell me that's not adorable

A wee baby lizard asleep in the rose. Si mignon!

Insured by the tooth fairy

Yes, it is true. He proposed...with his tooth.

Should we open it now, or wait 'til Christmas?

Show your thinking vs. show you're thinking

We need more togetherness!

Thank you, my bleacheatingfreaks.

No! No! No... wait, teriyaki? Um, I mean, NO!

After thousands of years of research and technology

Only to develop... wait for it... a BUG!

Because that game wasn't aggravating enough

No, no! Not there!